


The Only Exception

by charmandu



Series: Hide and Seek [3]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Coming Out, Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 05:58:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19267201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmandu/pseuds/charmandu
Summary: Minhyun confesses to Jaehwan at Christmas. He knows he will be rejected but he does it anyway.





	The Only Exception

**Author's Note:**

> Started writing this during Christmas last year while crying bec of the disbandment. Finished it today, just when I tweeted about possibly stopping writing for MinHwan lol what a hypocrite 
> 
> Anyway, this is inspired by the Love Actually Scene (i have notes on this at the end)

Minhyun exhales a little longer than usual. It’s not really a sigh, no. Sighs are meant for something disappointing, unreachable, or frustrating and this situation isn’t really like any of those mentioned. This one’s a calculated gamble and he knows he’ll lose it. But hey, no regrets.

The sweat in his scalp worsens by the minute and he feels his hair becoming damp. This weather is not really good for his looks, he thinks. _There are better days. The ones I spent with you._ The strength of the conditioner reaches him, pushing him to proceed on patting his hair--not to calm the _floof_ down but (maybe) to calm himself.

The task at hand for tonight seems impossible but he’ll do it anyway, for himself.

He’s at the footsteps of Jaehwan’s porch and he’s unsure whether he should message him first to let him know of his presence or just ring the doorbell just like the old times.  

Minhyun thinks about some of their nicest times together to combat giving in to the pressure. He gives himself a small smile and his worries start to quiet down. 

To tell you the truth, Minhyun knows exactly when he saw Jaehwan in a different light. Jaehwan is his long-time _friend,_ or maybe that’s what he is to Jaehwan. All of it ends tonight anyway so what’s the point of labels.

True to the tales, Minhyun heard an angel sing during this moment. Funnily, there was even a spotlight focused on him as if the heavens are presenting him the forbidden fruit--Minhyun can look but he can’t have a bite. It was a Thursday night and Jaehwan was singing The Only Exception onstage with that angelic voice of his during a gig. All eyes were on him while Jaehwan’s found Minhyun’s. He doesn’t really want to be delusional and think that the boy has suddenly offered him a song, no. He has decided that he’s just a really great performer to have expressed those pleading eyes towards him. Jaehwan doesn’t swing that way, anyway and in that case, he is really a forbidden fruit.

Minhyun stares at the door. Jaehwan's family is probably here and he didn’t want him to go through the ‘my-son-is-not-gay’ fiasco again because Minhyun gets it, family and religion comes first. But despite of all that, he wants to ask whoever is stationed above for tonight, be it Jesus, Buddha, Kami-sama, or any other god, to let him have this night. For closure.

Words silent, actions loud.

It’s a mix of those two that made this entire thing fatal to him. Keeping it all in meant not knowing what Jaehwan thinks or feels but it also kept their friendship in the same level, not moving forward and not breaking anything. It’s stable and it’s safe to say the least. And in the past, it was what mattered to Minhyun.

The white boards he prepared this morning were almost falling so he puts the battery-operated cassette player down, near the door, and held the props with one hand. He presses the doorbell after.

He doesn’t hear anyone move so he pressed it again. Twice. The night is getting deeper so he prepared an excuse if ever Jaehwan’s parents were the one to open the door and a whole other plan if it’s Jaehwan.

A shadow could be seen near the window and Minhyun’s hands are beginning to soil the boards he’s holding. He must really be nervous if he’s sweating this much at Christmas night.

Minhyun heard two locks being released and he almost drops everything when he sees Jaehwan peek from behind the door, still in his pajamas (the one with Shiro prints), and still rubbing his eyes from what he expects was a nap he apparently disturbed. His breath hitches at the sight--it’s too cute, too domestic to see him like this in this night of all _holy_ nights.

He flips the first board, revealing something he’s probably written more than ten times in his scratch pad. **_Tell auntie and uncle it’s the carol singers._**

Jaehwan stops Minhyun from turning on the cassette player, “It’s okay Minhyun-hyung. I’m alone.” He says with a hoarse voice, a voice and a statement that wouldn’t let Minhyun sleep in peace tonight if this doesn’t go well.

Minhyun mimed an “Oh.” before he turns to the next board. **_With any luck next year, I should have found someone in Bumble_**

 ** _Or somewhere around my fifth or sixth goukon._** Minhyun is still nervous but Jaehwan’s smile because of the last part calms him down a little bit. He couldn’t stop himself from feeling all warm inside because of how soft the christmas lights shine on Jaehwan’s cheeks.

Minhyun moves on to the next board before the train of thought consumes him. **_But for now, let me say_**

Jaehwan looked confused, still clueless of what Minhyun-hyung is doing in front of his house at this time of the night.

_**Without hope or agenda** _

Minhyun watches his lips form a straight line. He’s trying to make sense of what is happening.

**_Just because it’s Christmas (and at Christmas you tell the truth)_ **

Minhyun closes his eyes for half a second and swallows every doubt before showing the next page.

**_To me, you are perfect._ **

They lock eyes. And to be honest, Minhyun didn’t dare think or plan what he does in this scenario because he was too busy overthinking what future he holds if Jaehwan’s parents run after him with a broom. The feeling of this moment--the soft whisper of the wind, the dryness of his mouth, the sweat in his palms, and the butterflies in his stomach--he wants to freeze it all with the forgotten complications of tomorrow and treasure it somewhere safe, like inside a snowglobe. He’d put it on display in his room, make it a reminder that he once loved this much or make it a token to immortalize the moment when he was once brave enough to let love go.

He couldn’t read Jaehwan’s reaction. Minhyun’s fingers are starting to feel numb while the last board hangs on its tips. He wouldn’t be able to do anything else at this point so he goes on with it. 

**_Merry Christmas._ **

Minhyun looks back at Jaehwan and he gives him a weak smile for a short second. He tries to drink in Jaehwan’s look before he looks down, unsure of his next steps.

He sees that some of the premature snow has turned to water and that the pavement is not dry anymore. He stares at his shoes. His heart is now beginning to feel sad that his untied shoelace made him think of how two people are needed to make a relationship work, whatever relationship it is (even his and Jaehwan’s could count) and how only one of them is required to pull out and ruin the tie. Thoughts of him being the cause of ruining their friendship replays in his head.

A few nights before, Minhyun weighed in that it’s better to tell him his feelings than be in the shadows of what ifs. He fully knows Jaehwan, his family, and the rejection he might get. So it's okay, there could be enough preparations. 

It wasn’t easy for him when he discovered his own sexuality. There was denial, there was confusion. It took time for himself to acknowledge it, self-discovery became a chore rather than a pleasant experience. There was no acceptance where it should’ve been and that was the hardest part.

Minhyun wants to move on and this is the first step he knows he should make. So, with all of his might and sincerity, he lets himself and his feelings out. He knows Jaehwan is not gay and Minhyun has readied himself in case he stays away, especially because of his faith.

Tears were almost forming when Minhyun noticed feet covered in white socks stop in front of him. He felt warm hands reach for his nape pulling him lower for a kiss. Minhyun melts as soon as Jaehwan’s lips are pressed on his. Thoughts of shoelaces and snowglobes--gone. None of them matters now.

He feels Jaehwan’s balance waver, realizing that Jaehwan must have tiptoed to reach his height. Minhyun carefully catches him, one arm embracing Jaehwan for support. A few seconds more and he had let go of the boards to fully envelop the younger in a hug but Jaehwan pulled away from the kiss, a little surprised of Minhyun dropping everything.

“Merry Christmas.” Jaehwan breaks the ice. As if on cue, a chilly winter breeze blew. “It’s cold out here, do you want to go inside?” Minhyun could only nod so Jaehwan took his hand and lead him inside the house.

Minhyun remembers his untied shoelace so he tightens his grip but maybe it’s okay because if he falls, he knows Jaehwan will be there to catch him.

**Author's Note:**

> The one in Love Actually is actually a problematic trope please don't romanticize it huhu. I just thought it'd be cute in a non-problematic setting so I wrote this.
> 
> PS. I originally wrote this to have smut content at the end but I removed it bec it might remove the sincerity of Minhyun's confession lol plus i'm touching on a sensitive issue of coming out so yeah 
> 
> do you wanna know my coming out story? hahaha it's...traumatic lol
> 
> anyway i'm still @charmandu27 in twt and charmandu curiouscat


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